It's so beautiful out here, like I'm staring at a postcard. I'm in Duvall, Washington for the weekend with my friends- taking a much needed break in the gorgeous country side to relax and study for finals. We spent the morning studying, and then we traipsed around the woods awhile exploring and taking photos. Afterwards we hit the town for some ice cream. I'm so blessed to experience the things I do. Now it's back to the books and I'm left alone with my thoughts. Like so many other places, this town brings memories. It's like no matter where I go, the memories flood me and I'm left breathless. How can you go from knowing a person so well to suddenly becoming strangers? It breaks my heart everyday. I wish I could rewind time and change some things- maybe I could have spared myself this heartache and pain. It haunts me to no end that I made someone miserable. I really am trying to keep my thoughts positive, but the more time passes the more sorrow I feel. I wish there was somewhere in this world I could go to stop it, but there isn't. Nothing I can do will change the past or the present. I had so many dreams, so many things that made me smile but now it feels like I'll never get any of those back.
God, be kind to my heart and give me peace. Too many nights I've lain awake, unable to close my eyes, too afraid of my dreams... I feel exhausted, worn out, and sick. I know there's so much more to life than this, so just help me find it. And above all, help me not to harbor anger or judgement. You are so good, and I believe there is a reason for everything you allow to happen. Grant me wisdom, strength, and peace.
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